Hello Davinia,

I am getting married this coming Christmas.  We plan to send out our invitations mid October, however the problem arises here.  Many of my friends have children, however I don’t want them at my wedding.  I met my friend  a couple of weeks back and she mentioned she might bring her sister in law to the hotel to look after the kids.  Help!!! I was so taken aback that I didn’t even say anything.  I plan on writing to ‘X and X’ on the invite, no mention of kids, but what if people are presuming they can just bring their children along?

Kid-Free Please

Hi KFP,

Well aren’t you the silly little thing not to say anything there and then!  Never mind, the next time you see her just say you had a hard job convincing your Aunt that her kids weren’t allowed to come.  She will get the message without you having to say it directly to/about her.

D x

Hi Davinia,

My future mother-in-law is driving me up the wall (don’t they all).  She has decided that we should be ferrying her relatives from the church to the reception.  This isn’t in our budget and any wedding we have gone to, we’ve made our own way from the church to the reception.   What can I do?

F2b

Hi F2b,

You’ve answered your own question, you don’t need me at all!  ‘’ we’ve made our own way from the church to the reception’’

Tell her to butt out, and you will categorically NOT be organising transport for them.

D x

Davinia,

I need your help.  My partner recently was made redundant and my hours were recently cut.  Selfishly I still want the big white wedding I’ve been dreaming of since I was 7.  We were considering taking out a loan from the Credit Union and paying it back with cash gifts we will hopefully receive.  We have been living together for 5 years, so everyone knows we have everything in the home we need.  Do you think we can still do it?

AA

Hi AA,

I was astounded when I read your email.  Who gave you the idea?  Also how do you presume you will get cash gifts?  What happens if you receive gifts that aren’t cash.  You’d be up the creek with no paddle, that’s where you would be!  It’s clear to me you have two choices.

1.  Have a smaller wedding.

2. Save for the day.

Whatever you do don’t get yourself in debt in the hopes of paying it off short-term in gifts you ‘may’ receive.  A lot of guests like to purchase something for the bride and groom that they can have for life, no whether you want that or not, it is not up to you!

D x

Hi Davinia

I found myself in tears after a recent visit to our local bridal shop.  I am overweight and many of the sizes were a 12 – 14.  Now this is fine, I know it makes sense to have an in the middle size.  However it was the attitude of the woman helping me.  She was letting out massive sighs when she tried to fix the dresses at the back and then proceeded to tell me I’d have to lose about 10 inches from my back.  I never told this woman I had planned to lose weight, I was so annoyed, but of course I said nothing.  I certainly won’t be going back there, but I am nervous about going to the next place.  My best friends and I were to head off for the day for this purpose, however I don’t want to be crying my eyes out again because nothing fits.

HR

Hi HR,

I really felt for you when I read your message.  For a start that woman needs a good kick in the behind.  It amazes me the attitude some people have that work with the public.  Your dress buying experience should be a wonderful occasion and I can assure you that not all bridal shops are like that.  Why not look for recommendations from the other brides on the forum here.

In relation to the sizes, yes, the bridal shops carry the samples usually around the same size.  So the size 8 girls are just the same as the size 18 girls when it comes to getting to see what the dress looks like fitted.  A good assistant will be able to help you see this though.

Get yourself logged on now for some recommendations, and Good luck, I have a feeling you will have a great experience the next time you try on some gowns.

D x

** Please not that not all emails we receive will be answered.  New questions/answers will appear on the blog here every week.